Consistent qualities of the best AirBnBs

How do you know that you’ve found a gem?

Photo by Patrick Robert Doyle on Unsplash

The first rule when booking an AirBnB is to never settle. Flashy and pricy establishments can give way to truly nuanced and beautiful selections if you spend your time wisely. Here are some keys to look for, when you are booking your next weekend getaway:

1. Mini-bottles of soap, shampoo, and conditioner. These are included for any guests with Ratatouille-type rat relationships. Incredibly thoughtful, that’s five stars.
2. A Smart TV with Netflix login. Remember when your ex changed her password on you while you streamed a burning Yuletide log for a party consisting of most of your mutual friends last Christmas, causing the whole vibe to crash, exactly like the last two futile weeks of your aforementioned relationship? Well, that won’t happen again! Because you paid for this baby, and your host cancels nobody, no matter their history. If only your ex was renting out her place as an AirBnB. Now that would be a cornucopia of coincidences.
3. A bathtub hewed from a single block of Vermont marble. You, never a hypocrite, certified ecological, could not bear to waste so many precious gallons of freshwater. Early checkout.
4. Beer in the fridge. Now, these hosts guessed it! You love(d) to party. Ever the provocative…