Reflections:
I try very hard to insert myself into a newcomer’s life. I want to be the chandelier they bought, on a day’s notice, and now proudly display to their parents, saying “look at this magnificent piece, it will surely bring me healthy children.” Instead, I find myself more often utilized as the new-ish Pottery Barn vase, found on a back table, slightly out of focus. My hopes are too easily dashed, and emotionally I sink, when I don’t immediately find gratification.
A lot of my fresh interactions arise through Bumble. This is fine. The timing of my life currently includes few well-known friends in my location.
My error is my expectation.
I lead myself to water, and drink from the misconception; I’m immediately worth more to this girl than not only her supposed friends, but also all the other Bumble-Boys (BB’s) she has an interest in. But what have I done to impossibly convey the idea that I’m God’s gift to online dating? Several witty (my perception) texts and a handful of photos.
In the future, for my happiness, I hope to marry two ideas together:
- I can still hold myself as the hero of MY story, and maintain a heaping amount of self worth.
- The trajectory of my self worth, in someone else’s life, is step-wise: More time than I could know, may be spent in a plateau. My conscientious effort, the input, will determine the up-tick.
