What does outward expression of anxiety look like? How do observers perceive a restless, awkward, wayward mind? Sometimes I’m coy. “I’m listening to darker music,” or, bluntly, “I feel tired and can’t catch a deep breath.” Is our digital age open to clear admissions of issue, which often mask an inner need for attention from loved ones?

Recent NBA stars have shed light on their issues with anxiety, panic attacks, and depression. Does that have implications for how strangers on Bumble will interact with me now? God I hope so. If I know one thing, when I start to feel comfortable with someone new, I can’t help but talk about my anxiety. A test? Perhaps I hope for their concern and newfound care. Proof of emotional availability? I’m a good shoulder to cry on, as long as yours is too.

Finding an emotional connection is important to me, and it is often all too easy to start with personal issues as a gateway. TBD on the proper replacement.